Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Leadership

"Live daringly, boldly, fearlessly. Taste the relish to be found in competition - in having put forth the best within you."

My large harem of females does all the actual hunting. Mostly I sit around licking myself, eating the largest portion of gazelle corpses my females bring me, and copulating with whomever happens to be in estrus at the time. If that’s not leadership, I don’t know what is.

Thursday, March 15, 2007



“The price of defeat is the undeniable knowledge that everyone around you knows you are a failure.”

That’s because you’re a LOSER! That’s right, you LOST! Who cares if it was just a pick-up game with those guys from Accounts Receivable on the twelfth floor? You still lost! Your loving family, volunteer work at the soup kitchen and successful career don’t mean crap, pal, because you LOST! You have no place in Corporate America, you LOSER! Get off this site! Go! You contaminate us all with your filthy, losing presence.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Commitment


"The strongest force in the world is genuine and everlasting commitment".

Actually, the strongest force in the world is rising sea levels (followed by Lava, Rock, Paper, Scissors, and Man Determined to Rise). In any event, your blessed union of souls is about to be submerged in a watery grave along with the rest of civilization. Maybe if you hadn’t been so committed to that carbon spewing SUV your devotion would have had a less soggy end?